Disillusionment in a relationship, family betrayal, treated by an evil organization, or maybe can’t pee due to occupied toilets. This life is full of drama. Well, I don’t know about you, but at least that is what I felt. Some are annoying, some are crazy frustrating and other perhaps ezpz totally piece of cake, but still, they are problems that give us pressure on body or mind.
Recently I got a series of the problem that affects my life. I believed that I have a good enough physic and mental power to face them, but it seems that my resilience just reached its limit. In psychology and pedagogy, resilience means an immune system of our soul. Therefore, I search for some ways to reduce the stress level that consume my emotional energy. Why not try to solve the problems? Yes, I’m working on it, but it won’t go well if I’m in a horrible state.
Then, after some meeting and discussion with my beloved Maestro, I learned about Epictetus and his amazing work, Enchiridion. Epictetus is one of an amazing philosopher. Please check the detail by yourself, you have access of internet anyway. I’ll just explain the short, simple things that affect my life after reading his book. From the first, he said that,
“Some things are on our control and the others not.”
It gives me the idea to short things. First, if the problem is still on my control, I will give my best to clear it. Second is when it is not. Then just leave it. I’ll avoid unnecessary pressure. For example: As a student, you are going to be a breadwinner for the family, because of some situation. Ask yourself, is it under your control? Yes, in most case, the student can work partially, just work to the max, save money, and you will achieve the goal. It would be rough and harsh, but as long as you grab the target, it will increase your level and lessen the pressure. And another example: The earthquake and tsunami accidentally killed your uncle. It is an easy example, it is clear that you have no control over it. So even as a geoscientist, just don’t blame yourself that you aren’t capable of predicting them.
Let’s have another tricky one: You love your girlfriend; your girlfriend also loves you. Your parent doesn’t like your girlfriend because she didn’t believe in God and her friends don’t like you because you have a different race. The problems here involving people around you. But like the first case, it is somehow still in your control. You can guide her until she has faith in God, but it still depends on herself. But how about the second case? You have to analyze the problem carefully. You can say that it is in your hand, just show that you are a good man, you can do things and show your hard work, then everything will be ok. It may be true. But I suggest leaving it. You have no control over your race. Maybe you can convince one person. Like you guide your girlfriend to have faith. But how about seven? They are all unique but have one common problem, your race, not your finance, not your personality, not your love. So, leave it. Just continue loving your girlfriend, the time will come to get the answer if they accept you or not.
There are lots of interesting things from the book. But I think the most important part is this first part. So, it will guide you to have less pressure in life.